How to Be a Good Friend

Sebastian Sisters| Trisha Sebastian and April Denise Belcher
Sebastian Sisters| Childhood Best Friends Trisha Sebastian and April Denise Belcher

Being a true friend is about being reliable, kindhearted and compassionate.

  • Be there through the hard times.
  • Stand up for your friend.
  • Share your thoughts and cares with a friend.

If you are willing to do all of these, you will develop and maintain a relationship that endures.
One faithful friend is priceless and taking the time to fulfill your role in the relationship is worth every minute.

Be real.
Connect with friends that you value whose friendship you regard as sustainable long-term. Great friendships do not arise from hopping on someone’s popularity and hoping it will rob off on you. Treasured relationship is developed with being with people who identify with you at a level and understand who you truly are.

  • Friendship is not trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted in a certain clique.
  • Friendship is not trying to be friends with someone just to get to know someone else through that person.
  • It is opportunism – and eventually you will regret the shallow nature of your involvement.

Every new person you meet have a right to be accepted on his/her own merits. Be yourself than be someone that you are not, just to be accepted. You have a responsibility to fill their days with pleasant memories and happy moments. It is better detested for who you are, rather liked for who you are not.

Intimate friendships endure differences of opinion or outlooks.

Be honest.

It is impossible for a dishonest person to have close friends since it is difficult trust a person who is not reliable. Keep your promises. Do what you say that you will do. Do not tell lies. 

If you promise to do something, but did not do it, or did only a part of it, it is considered lying. People will eventually think you out and realize that you do not do what you say you will.

If you find yourself lying about doing things, then not keeping your word, start owning up to it and stop doing it. If you cannot do something, explain it to your friend. Trust that relationship is strong enough for the no’s as well as the yeses. Be honest if you said to do something.

If you know that you are at fault, own up. Simply talk about it with your friend and pray that your friend will forgive you. They will appreciate it. In the future, they will look back and think that they have an excellent beloved by their side. Nevertheless, if you are changing and undependable, that feels like you were not a close friend.

Good relationship is based on trust. The friendship may be extremely difficult to recover if you break a trust.

If you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but certain circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, tell your friend as soon as you find out. Do not wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to come to call and tell your friend. Honor the fact, that your friend is counting on you.

Respect the fact that, your friend needs to find someone else to help, given a little notice, with whatever it was. Do not hang your friend out to twist in the wind.

Be loyal.

If your friend tells you a secret, maintain that trust and do not talk about it to anyone else. It is what you would expect in return and so stay tight lipped about the matter. Do not discuss your friend behind their back and do not spread rumors about the confidences they have shared to you. Do not say something about your friend that you can not repeat to their face. Do not gossip or backstab.

Do not let others say nasty things about your friend and until you’ve had a chance to get your friend’s opinion, treat comments about your friend that are not useful as gossip and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and does not seem like a comment your friend would do or say, then respond by saying that you know that person and that it just does not seem right.

You may say that you will talk to your friend to find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, you will let them know. But until then, you would appreciate it if they do not spread it around, because it might not be what is actually meant.

Be respectful.

Good friends respect each other. You show this by being honestly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that do not align with your own, respect their choices and be subject to listening about them. Do not ridicule or belittle what they believe in. Instead, be understanding and try to keep learning. Over time, the differences will make you both stronger and better friends.

Listen to what your friend has to say despite times that your friend will say things that you find uninteresting, unpleasant or annoying.

If you respect your friend, you will ignore these feelings, to be able to listen openly and give your pal the opportunity to say what is needed and to do so without judgment.

Disagree respectfully when you do not see eye to eye with your friend and be prepared to see things differently. Do not demand that your friend change her way of seeing things.

Watch out for your friend.

If you feel that your friend is getting into some kind of problems which are beyond their control, like taking drugs or being promiscuous, help him or her to get away from the situation to somewhere safer for them. Do not think that they are strong enough to care for themselves. This might be the perfect time that your expression of common sense is needed to make them realize their fugue. Don’t let your friend drive drunk – take their keys and/or see your friend home. If your friend talks about committing suicide, tell someone about it. Do it even if your buddy begs you not to tell anyone. This rule overrides the “respect privacy”. Suggest a counselor or professional to your friend. Before you involve anyone else, talk to your friend’s closest relative first unless they are the ones that are causing the problems.

Pitch in for your friend in times of crisis.

You could fix your friend’s bags, if your friend has to be in the hospital. If your friend’s dog runs away, help to get it. Be available if your friend needs help. Take notes for your friend if you know that your friend missed the class because your friend is sick. Send cards or care packages. If there is a death in their family, attend the funeral or prepare and bring a meal over to your friend. Help him or her up and let her cry. Give them something to wipe their tears and listen. You don’t have to say anything.

Just do not be too bothered by hearing sadness, anger, or deep sorrow. Be calm and reassuring. Do not say that everything is going to be all right if it is not. Keep it real. Sometimes, it is hard not to, but false reassurance can be worse than none. It may impair your friend’s ability to see through the crisis as well as one might.

Instead, tell your friend that whatever your friend decide or need, you will be there for your friend.

  • If your friend needs to discuss, talk.
  • If your friend needs to sit quietly, sit there.
  • If your friend needs to relax and get minds off something, offer to take your friend for a massage or pedicure.
  • Give a heartfelt hug.
  • Stay honest, but cheerful and positive.

Even a stranger would appreciate a real message or a “quick” hug, or a hand rub across the back, but do not overdo it.

Give helpful advice when asked, add perspective but do not argue that your friend does as you say. 
Don’t judge your friend, but do urge your friend when they get out for advice or when they need tough love to keep them out of hurtful situations. Let your friend know how you consider the situation using information, and indicate what you might do in the same circumstances. Do not be offended by your buddy listening to your ideas but deciding to ignore it. They must make their own decisions.

Do not give unsought for advice. Allow your friend to vent when needed. Be prepared to give advice if it is clear that it is sought. Ask before you offer advice. That may feel that you are imposing “should’s” upon your friend, and they are much less likely to hear.

Give your pal space.

Be understanding if your friend wants to spend some time alone or hang out with other people. Do not be clingy or needy. Friendship does not require that you always have to be paired together.

Allowing your friend a day to socialize with other friends gives you much-needed breathing space and allows you to come together fresh, appreciating each other even more.

You do not have to agree. Simply listen to what your friend is saying. Stop talking to hear what your friend is saying. It is not actually appealing to listen to someone talk about other people’s feelings 24/7. If you are monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend is not getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens a gap between the two of you and reassures your friend that you are not judging them.

Being considerate is an essential part of being a true friend. Accommodate your friend’s wishes whenever you can. Do this in balance. Be there when you are needed and go the extra mile if it is going to make a tremendous difference for your friend. Reciprocate in kind with loving deeds and support and your relationship will be strengthened.

  • Do not be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are a whopping no in friendship. Your friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move towards more compassionate people who are willing to provide the same as one gets. A true friend will not require it, yet one might say being tired of it. Do not require even encouragement.
  • Do not expect, order or abuse goodness or “wear out your welcome.” When your friend does something kind for you, do something for your friend in return. Money is not, or does not have to be, an issue. Do not compare labels, prices, size and importance.
  • Do not let your friend pay every time you go out, even if it is offered. Do not help yourself to things at your friend’s house without asking, unless it is desired and practiced at your house in turn.
  • Go home when the time is right. No one wants to feel used or to be friends with a freeloader. Take care of anything that you borrow from your friend and return it without being asked. Return any significant gifts bought for you if you end a relationship. It is appropriate etiquette, so act in true faith.

Follow the golden rule.
Treat a friend the way you like to be treated. Do not do something that you do not want done to you. Be there through thick and thin. Do not mind everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately.

Hate the sin, not the person.
If your friend did something wrong, tendency if for you to use it against them. If you are truly a true friend, you will never use anything against her. Everything can be talked about, anyways. Do not use your friends as a test of your worth because you have value.

Seek to deepen your relationship over a period of time.
The more you spend time with each another, the less you will idealize each other. This will make you receive each other for who you truly are. This is what being an incredibly loyal friend is genuinely about. It is caring deeply for each other, warts and all.


Make sure your friend does not have to spend a birthday alone. Hold a party for them or arrange a surprise. Treat your friend out to dinner.

Tease friends about something they are proud of like their “skinny frame” if they are dieting.

Avoid teasing your friend on things that they are sensitive. Use teasing to pick them up instead of tearing them down.

Enjoy one another’s company. It is not all about bleeding hearts and suggestions to the lovelorn – or at least, it should not be. Be sure to have fun together and develop volunteer activities now and then. Be a positive energy in your friend’s life.

To be a close friend, there is no need to spend lots of money. The best gifts usually comes from the heart. You can just about giving of your time and skills.

Do not make too many expectations and rules. That is just trapping other people in your dimension. Allow your relationship to adapt and evolve naturally. Allowing your friend to be as specific, and individual, allows both of you to enjoy one another in that light.

If your friend is in any problems and behaves in a way that is particularly disturbing, do not be overly angry. Try to understand their problems.

Take an initiative. Reach out and do the things that will make your friend’s situation easier when they are in need.

Friends who are only available in the church are still a friend. Be exceedingly glad for that friendship.

Have respect for everyone. Respect grows relationships and maintains them.

Good communication is an ideal foundation in a friendship. If you can not talk to your buddy right, you will receive a challenging and perhaps doomed relationship.


Do not pick up all your friend’s time. Relax and trust in your friendship. Allow each other to be with others, or just be alone. Do not opt for them just as you do not want your buddy deciding for you.

Do not stand in the doorway for up to an hour talking when leaving especially when your friend has a pet that has to be kept indoors. Close the door, say goodbye and leave. You could cause your friend a lot of trouble with that. In case, there is something that you remembered saying, just come in and shut the door.

Do not hang out with someone just because you are the same. It is most likely that you will meet people who are just like you because you go to the same hangouts, but there is no need for you to classify the kind of people that you will be acquainted with. Sometimes best of friends are brought together because they see each other’s strengths and weaknesses are complementary to each other.

Anybody can beat a way to be the most extraordinary creature that they have ever met in their life. Keep your mind open and build your own opinions.

There is no reason to keep friends with someone who does not consider a friend well. Do not stay friends with anyone who does not treat others fairly.

No one likes an obnoxious friend. Be careful teasing your friends.
If your friend asks you to stop teasing, consider the request.

Never start a fight just because you are bored.

Do not require second or life-long friendship.
If your connection is meant to be extraordinary, it will happen naturally.

If your friend starts to make new friends, do not get anxious. No one likes a jealous friend. Have confidence in your friendship. If your friend is talking to someone else, do not strike their conversation. You will look needy and pathetic.

Turn your cell phone off or silent whenever you spend time with your friend. It is extremely annoying to have a conversation with someone constantly interrupted by a ring tone.

Asking your friend to stop talking while you read a text message is objectionable. It could make your friend think that you do not value and respect your time together.


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